How to channel frustration – Anne Hathaway raps on paparazzi

Here’s an example of identifying with your ‘enemy’ …

Well worth a watch. Good skills. Who knew?

(via The Next Web)

Yo I’m a paparazzi I don’t play no yahtzee
I go pop pop pop pop pop pop pop! My camera’s up your crotch
See I tell the truth from what I see and sell it to Perez Hilti
Don’t call me scuzzy makin money that’s my job: Celeb photography
What hell no I’m not needy I’m legit not stalkarazzi
Don’t act so hatzy-tatzy bitch I know that you’re from Jersey
pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop Scream all you want, won’t make me stop,
pop pop pop pop pop pop pop I know you love to feel my pop

Write no early obituaries for Steve Jobs

Following up on the medical leave Steve Jobs took from Apple in January, this, today, while of course not unpredicted, is still a bit of a psychic bang.

August 24, 2011

Letter from Steve Jobs
To the Apple Board of Directors and the Apple Community:

I have always said if there ever came a day when I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as Apple’s CEO, I would be the first to let you know. Unfortunately, that day has come.

I hereby resign as CEO of Apple. I would like to serve, if the Board sees fit, as Chairman of the Board, director and Apple employee.

As far as my successor goes, I strongly recommend that we execute our succession plan and name Tim Cook as CEO of Apple.

I believe Apple’s brightest and most innovative days are ahead of it. And I look forward to watching and contributing to its success in a new role.

I have made some of the best friends of my life at Apple, and I thank you all for the many years of being able to work alongside you.

Steve

Unavoidable but sad. Read John Gruber’s erudite thoughts.

How do you replace the irreplaceable man? Like we’re seeing. An open-ended medical leave, where he retains the CEO title. A continuation of strong new products, including a major improvement to the iPad, the device that is upending the entire computer industry. The ceding of day-to-day operations and leadership to Tim Cook, his right-hand man and chosen successor. Ever-higher profiles during public product announcements of top product-focused lieutenants like Phil Schiller, Scott Forstall, and Eddy Cue. It wasn’t something you could see or hear, but from the audience during this year’s WWDC keynote, it was something you could feel. Midway through, I wrote:

He’s here, but this is the first post-Steve keynote.

Yeah. Bugger.

As I’ve said before: Steve Jobs is the Thomas Edison of our age.

– P

Jeff Jarvis: “Let us write no early eulogies. The man’s genius lives”

Where Samsung says Apple copied the iPad from …

Apple’s patent infringement case against Samsung for ‘slavish copying’ of the iPhone and iPad and their trade dress, packaging etc is interesting for all sorts of reasons.

What seems unquestionable is that there was no consumer product available in the past that resembled Apple’s iPad and that manufacturers like Samsung, HTC etc (ha!) were ‘inspired’ by Apple’s designs. But what about the future? Or, past ideas of the future, like Star Trek (very clunky eClipboards masquerading as iPads, chunky, flip-phone-style ‘Communicators’ were better at standing in for iPhones) or, hey, Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey?

Well, wonder no more. This extract of Samsung’s recent filing from FOSSPatents reveals …. well, do you think it’s a smoking gun? In 1968?

Samsung cites Stanley Kubrick's '2001: A Space Odyssey' movie as prior art against iPad design patent (FOSSpatents.blogspot.com - click)

This is how the related [Samsung] declaration [to U.S. District Court for the Northern District of California] explains why this movie picture is valid prior art for a certain iPad-related design patent:

Attached hereto as Exhibit D is a true and correct copy of a still image taken from Stanley Kubrick’s 1968 film “2001: A Space Odyssey.” In a clip from that film lasting about one minute, two astronauts are eating and at the same time using personal tablet computers. The clip can be downloaded online at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQ8pQVDyaLo. As with the design claimed by the D’889 Patent, the tablet disclosed in the clip has an overall rectangular shape with a dominant display screen, narrow borders, a predominately flat front surface, a flat back surface (which is evident because the tablets are lying flat on the table’s surface), and a thin form factor.

Sooo… Will it be laughed out of court or seen as a slam dunk?
What do you think?

– P

Renting ‘The Mentalist’. For credibility?

ANZ Bank has just started running some TV spots featuring Australian actor Simon Baker in his fabulous Patrick Jane/The Mentalist role. (Tag: “I know what you’re thinking…”)

It’s kinda odd, seeing and hearing him spruiking for the bank in character, but oh well.

There’s been a small amount of backlash to the ads in Australia as reported by Jeremy Helligar at The Faster Times (tinkling the teacups, mate) — not over the obvious cash-in and use of a character from a popular show … but because (Aussie-Aussie-Aussie…!) Simon Barker is depicted speaking in Australia, in an American accent… in character for Patrick Jane.

Watch this spoof/social commentary (video below) … and ask yourself: Would Brit actor Hugh Laurie front ads in the UK as American doctor Gregory House? I don’t think so.

Still, no big thang!

– P

Polygamy Porter. Why have just one!

Click to enlarge

My pal Ross brought this beer back from the US for me, following a discussion we had about the multiple marriages of certain church elders.

It’s a dark beer called Polygamy Porter … and as well as the Rubens-esque label it carries the tagline:

‘Why have just one!’
(sic — no question mark.)

Why indeed?
You’ll be pleased to know this fine-looking beer is from Wasatch and Squatters Beers, Utah: Utahbeers.com “Beers you can believe in”.

Of course.

– P

Trevor Mallard demolishes Cameron Slater*

Congratulations to Labour MP Trevor Mallard for good-naturedly wiping the smirk off Cameron Slater’s face. Well, temporarily. The result of the much-hyped (on Cameron’s part) 60 km bike race held this afternoon around Bucklands Beach was: Mallard won easily … by more than 20 minutes.

I dropped over to Musick Point this afternoon and met Cam’s sponsor Cathy Odgers/Cactus Kate at the start-finish line (she’s bankrolled his losing bet and now owes the Labour Party $1,000 … which she says she’ll pay in CASH.)

Cathy’s estimate that her man was half a lap behind Trevor proved roughly right. Mallard cruised in just before 3:50 pm, stopped for a chat and quick debrief with his on-loan bike technician Paul from Prestige Cycle Repairs and headed back to meet up with Cam (a loooong-way-back) and cycled back to the finish with him at 4:11 pm.

Mallard wins the race in the real world. Slater simply not fast enough to live up to his own trash-talk. (Pic: Peter Aranyi)

Another optimistic Slater forecast?

You might have thought someone who has relentlessly hyped up the contest with extravagant insults and trash-talk … and even blogged yesterday:

Yep, I am going to kick his arse tomorrow.

… and then had his own arse comprehensively kicked LOST by such a convincing margin — would be a tad circumspect. Not Cam. Of course not!

What need does such a blogger have for reality? He’s already trotted out the revisionist goalpost-shifting fooling-no-one-but-one-eyed-Tories platitude: ‘At least I’ve distracted Labour’s campaign manager in the lead-up to the election’. Of course you have, Cam. Riiiight. All part of the master plan. (Cough)

Sport was the winner on the day. Both cyclists benefitted from focussed training. It’s helped Trevor’s rehab/recovery from an accident in March in which he fractured his femur and shoulder (he told me he can actually cycle better than he can walk at present) and Cam unquestionably got fitter, losing weight (15 kg, he says) and knocking off some prescription drugs.

I can’t help thinking if the result went the other way we would NEVER hear the end of it. No-one likes losing, and as it is, Cam found the grace to congratulate Trevor:

Con­grat­u­la­tions Trevor, you rode well, and thank you for the challenge.

Congratulations to them both. But Mallard won.

From my observations, Cameron Slater’s blog seems to indulge in, provoke and attract a pretty vile level of personal abuse and character attacks on Labour/left-wing figures. That seems unlikely to change, although surely even Cam couldn’t help but be impressed with Trevor Mallard’s sportsmanship and well-rounded humanity this afternoon.

I was.

– P

* Headline is a homage to sports journalists I have worked with.

Nice work – How to speak New Zillund at the Rugby

Click to enlarge

Source: Mediaworks

A departing editor’s kamikaze attack on his crappy publisher

image: based on photo found at http://hsgm.free.fr/rajoutsguerre (unknown origin*) effects by Peter Aranyi

I’d never heard of Valley City, nor the happy sounding Horizon Publications, but heroic Lee Morris, outgoing editor of the Valley City Times-Record, somehow managed to slip this parting shot into the paper, detailing his very reasonble and well-written account of changes he sees as very negative (ahem) at the Valley City Times-Record.

Hehehe ... chuckle (click)

Morris had me at “It started in July with Tina Olson, …”

Read the whole thing An American pastime and politics (PDF)— complete with diversionary (fake) Gene Lyons byline to get past the company goons. Very good. If you squint, you can almost imagine Rupert Murdoch and James filling in for Conrad Black’s partner in crime (literally) David Radler and his daughter Melanie.

Horizon Publications itself began in a culture of indifference. It was founded by David Radler, Mela- nie’s father, whom one news report I read suggested remains involved with the company behind the scenes.

If you’ll bear with me: David and his partner, media magnate Conrad Black, sold some newspapers owned by a company they led called Hol- linger International. In essence, they sold the papers to themselves, paid themselves to not compete with them- selves, illegally pocketed millions and, ultimately, were investigated by the U.S. Securities and Exchange Com- mission and convicted of massive fraud. Both were imprisoned.

You’ll find all the details you ever want to know about the white collar crimes and cutthroat business practic- es of Conrad Black and David Radler, father of this newspaper’s corporate president, Melanie Radler, online.

Bottom line: Horizon wants money. They do not care about Valley City and they do not care about you. At the Times-Record, this newspaper’s employees are honest, hard-working people. It’s not their fault they work for a company that puts profits over people.

via John Remenesko at Poynter — also well worth your time to read. Thanks to Gene Weingarten for the tip (and the headline) via Twitter.

– P

* I’m happy to update with a better photo credit if someone can help with that.

A cynical definition of ‘journalistic balance’

Last night I was called a "gross right-wing pakeha blog{ger}on one website + "a typ­i­cal leftie shit-stirrer" on another...

This double-headed response to my musings reminded me of a conversation I had with Richard Long, then The Dominion’s Parliamentary bureau chief, later the paper’s editor, and even later Spin Doctor for two under-achieving National Party Opposition leaders, Bill English and Don Brash.

Richard, a Press Gallery veteran if ever there was one (20 years? Famous for refusing to drink the Muldoon/Birch ‘Think Big’ kool-aid) explained his interpretation of ‘journalistic balance’ like this:
He told me he would alternate the focus of his stories/columns … so that one would piss off the Government, then follow it with one which would piss off the Opposition.

Nice theory (even if he was serious) but I couldn’t bring myself to apply it to my work for Radio New Zealand.

– P

School girl exorcists. Modelling on Buffy the Vampire-slayer?

Reads like a story from The Twilight Zone … Oh boy.

Wow. MailOnline (click)

‘We’re not like normal teenagers’: Meet the exorcist schoolgirls who spend their time casting out DEMONS around the world

By JEFF MAYSH Mail Online 11th August 2011

  • Brynne Larson, 16, is one of many newly-qualified teenage demon slayers
  • Reverend Bob Larson of Spiritual Freedom Churches runs exorcist school
  • No set protocol for exorcisms but girls carry a Bible, holy water and a cross

The five teenage girls might look like they’re in a normal class, eagerly reading their textbooks and answering their teacher’s questions diligently.

But the textbooks are Bibles and the girls all have crosses instead of protractors, as they train to become exorcists – real exorcists who fight demons, curses and evil spells.

‘People do look a bit surprised when I arrive,’ admits graduate exorcist Brynne Larson. ‘When people call for an exorcist, they don’t picture a 16-year-old high school girl.’ …

Wow. Read it for yourself at Mail Online.

(via a Reddit retweet from Kashmir Hill; thanks to Matthew Ingram. Can anyone say ‘viral’?)

– P

Reverse product placement? Or hoax?

If this Associated Press report is true (that’s a big IF. It reeks of a publicity stunt) then: HILARIOUS!!  Stigma fallout! (Adidas, get your best PR team on this right away.)

Top: Abercrombie & Fitch publicity, Bottom: Mike Sorrentino attends LA party, pic Jason Merritt/Getty Images (via Chicago Tribune - click)

Abercrombie & Fitch is offering to pay Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino and his fellow Jersey Shore cast members so they’ll stop wearing the brand on the show.

“We are deeply concerned that Mr. Sorrentino’s association with our brand could cause significant damage to our image. We understand that the show is for entertainment purposes, but believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans,“ an Abercrombie & Fitch spokesperson said in a statement. “We have also extended this offer to other members of the cast, and are urgently waiting a response.”

In a follow up, the Chicago Tribunereports‘: Abercrombie stock drops 5% after ‘Jersey Shore’ dis.

Hmmm.

Colour me skeptical.

– P

Undone by the paper trail (News International’s latest woes)

image: advantage-companies.com (click)

There’s always a paper trail — and it can come back to bite you at most inconvenient times, as the Murdochs are finding out.

Convicted phone hacker, former New of the World royal correspondent Clive Goodman’s 2007 letter in protest at his sacking by News International following his conviction is a case in point. The letter (released overnight by the British parliamentary committee investigating the phone hacking scandal) is a harbinger of serious credibility problems for already discredited News International and its masters.

Goodman was suspended on pay during his trial, his legal bills were paid by News International, and, according to his letter, he was also promised ‘a job at the newspaper if I did not implicate the paper or any of its staff in my mitigation plea’.

Like a good mafiosi, Goodman kept that promise … indeed, the cover-up appears to have worked very well … but in his letter to NI bosses protesting at his dismissal, he (inadvertently? hmmm) delivers a kind of smoking gun, alleging:

‘This practice [phone-hacking] was widely discussed in the daily editorial conference until explicit reference to it was banned by the Editor [Andy Coulson]. As far as I am aware no other member of staff has faced disciplinary action, much less dismissal.’

Almost makes you feel sorry for the reptilian Mr Goodman, doesn’t it? Where’s the honour among thieves?

It’s also showing up what one could reasonably call a lack of forthrightness and trustworthiness of the News International corporation. As The Guardian‘s now-legendary Nick Davies reports:

Two versions of his letter were provided to the committee. One which was supplied by Harbottle & Lewis has been redacted to remove the names of journalists, at the request of police. The other, which was supplied by News International, has been redacted to remove not only the names but also all references to hacking being discussed in Coulson’s editorial meetings and to Coulson’s offer to keep Goodman on staff if he agreed not to implicate the paper.

Oops. It’s hard to see James Murdoch surviving the scandal unscathed. Some, including Andrew Hill at the Financial Times are (rightly) drawing parallels to the charges against Enron’s directors: ‘wilful ignorance‘. Whatever the criminal outcome, misleading Parliament is not a good look — and raises again the issue of whether News International is a ‘fit and proper person’ (firm) to run news media organization … in ANY country. Surely.

There’s a lot of water to pass under the bridge yet, and wave after wave of expensive lawyers will no doubt be unleashed and depleted on the shores of the committee (and Police) inquiries. But methinks something’s rotten in the state of Murdoch.

– P

Setting the news agenda … without news

TVNZ news 'leads the news' with this non-news. But what was their choice? (All words added.)

You’ve probably heard the old saying, ‘If you owe the bank a thousand dollars, you have a problem. But if you owe the bank a million dollars the bank’s got a problem!’ OK, so, scale the numbers up for inflation, but you get the picture.

It’s a bit like that with news organisations and the set-piece that is a political party conference. I’ve covered enough of these as a reporter to recognise the soporific nature of last weekend’s National Party conference from a thousand paces.

Let me offer this ‘umble revision of the ‘bank statement’: If you’re a journalist covering a political party conference and there’s no blood-letting, leadership spill, scandal or other ‘fireworks’ — and no meaningful policy announcement, you’ve got a problem.

The problem? Your masters will have reserved ‘space’ in the bulletin/paper/medium for ‘Rumplestiltskin reports from the conference’-type coverage, whether there’s actually any ‘news’ or not. You/they’ve got to fill that reserved space with something.

So, in this case, National’s (let’s face it) pretty vacuous-but-sends-the-right-signals-to-National-supporters spin FILLED the news for a while. (“You can fool some of the people all of the time … etc.”)

Later, when the competitive jungle fever has worn off, the media indulges in analysis and a rendering down of the so-called ‘policy’ (ahem) like this — NZ Herald Editorial: Job creation lacking in PM’s policy. (An article worth a read if you care, whether or not you agree with all of it.)

But, of course, elections aren’t won or lost relying on the views and opinions of those who read newspaper editorials. The mass-media/first impression coverage (‘the sugar rush’, I call it) is often all that matters. Hello? That’s what the spin doctors count on — and all too often they get it.

As my old workmate John Pagani, commenting on the NZ Herald‘s editorial, said rather well, I thought:

The remarkable thing about that announcement on the weekend was the cynicism of the misdirection – it had nothing at all for jobs, despite a youth unemployment crisis. You can tell strategists spent weeks sitting around trying to find something that would fit the polling demand to ‘crack down on welfare’ without actually trying anything. Ups to them – they did come up with something that fits the all shine, no substance parameter perfectly.

Is John’s comment cynical? Or realistic. You decide.

– P

Huffington Post ‘design competition’ backfires

If you want a laugh, take a look at how Huffington Post’s Tom Sawyer-like approach to getting a logo design for its politics pages — for nothing but a credit — went down. For the business accused of Unjust enrichment (even facing a lawsuit by bloggers who felt they were exploited by Huffington) to cast around for free design services within just a few month of the sale of their souls um website to AOL for $315million was, let’s face it, bound to be seen as tacky.

For the next week or so, we’ll be accepting your proposed designs for a new HuffPost Politics logo. Once we have a good group together, we’ll put them all up for a vote, which will inform the final pick. If yours wins, your icon will be used to represent this channel all over the interwebs — with credit to you, of course.

Some of the comments are brilliant, and some of the designs (cough) ‘submitted’ were funny… One excellent comment from James Beardmore

James Beardmore makes a good point (source: http://dribbble.com - click)

Oops, later Huffington Post made this wounded addition to the original post adds this …

UPDATE, August 15: We asked fans of HuffPost Politics to submit suggestions for social media icon designs as a fun way of enabling them to express their passion for politics — and for HuffPost. As readers of our site know, we frequently engage our community with requests for feedback and suggestions. So while AOL Huffington Post Media Group employs an in-house team of more than 30 talented designers, we felt this would be a lighthearted way to encourage HuffPost Politics users to express another side of their talents.

Oh, it was meant to be lighthearted. Gee, that’s not how the ‘community’ took it, huh? Funny, that.

Pat Doran‘s entry via Twitter:

– P

Reading between the lines

These aren’t exactly the actions of an ally, now are they?:

20110815-055814.jpg

(from the Financial Times)

“The US now has information that Pakistan, particularly the ISI, gave access to the Chinese military to the downed helicopter in Abbottabad,” said one person in intelligence circles, referring to the Pakistani spy agency. The Chinese engineers were allowed to survey the wreckage and take photographs of it, as well as take samples of the special “stealth” skin that allowed the American team to enter Pakistan undetected by radar, he said.
President Barack Obama’s national security council had been discussing this incident and trying to decide how to respond. A senior official said the situation “doesn’t make us happy”, but that the administration had little recourse.

Kinda sorta an indicator that Pakistan wasn’t all that happy about the ‘unauthorised’ US incursion into the country to kill Osama bin Laden. … they’ve let Chinese engineers take samples of the Black Hawk stealth helicopter which crashed during the mission.