Why does a lie offend us?
Why is it that a lie — especially a lie to our face — vexes us so?
Our efforts to identify the veracity of a claim (sometimes a very basic claim), can be frustrated by liars and rogues. So much of our lives can be taken up with efforts to locate or verify the truth about something or someone.
And lies are told every day — about big issues and small. The expression, ‘seeking the truth’ has a real ring to it … but it ain’t easy.
Over the years, dealing with some professional con-artists and liars, in politics and in business, I have come to see there is no single tell-tale factor that will readily help you identify the liar. Except perhaps one (and even that is not totally reliable):
How they treat other people — particularly those who they perceive as of lower ‘status’ to them.
Arrogance is a HUGE indicator.
A bully is almost always a liar. (But not every liar is a bully! Far from it.)
In my observation, there often seems to be a sort of cognitive link (is that the right expression?) between excessive ego — however it’s expressed — and a lack of truthfulness.
The thought: ‘Those rules don’t apply to me’ has led many a narcissist or sociopath into deception.
Just a theory.
Any other ideas?
I think that when someone with a narcissistic personality lies they don’t see their lie as a lie but rather they consider the person they are lying to as beneath the truth.
Bullies always get “theirs” in the end. Some bullies are quite clever and their downfall depends entirely on their own personal goals — the grander the goal the shorter the bully’s reign of terror.
I prefer this type of bully because they are far easier to deal with – their downfall is entirely of their own doing and it is predictable and obvious. It is the other type of bully I find harder to work against. They are not obvious and can be quite charismatic in their own right – people like being bullied by this kind. It can take many years to dislodge these “passive bullies” and the damage they do is far reaching and difficult to quantify. Normally, by the time you figure it out it is already too late.
[…] Re-posted from August 2009 […]