I’ve been thinking, prompted in part by a comment from Chowbok who said:
Hatred is the easiest of emotions to invoke.
Is it possible to be trenchantly, even violently opposed to what you perceive as wrongdoing without slipping into HATRED of the perpetrator?
If we agree (you and I) that bitterness of spirit is a dangerous and toxic thing, how do we keep a clear vision, maintain our standards (which implies rejecting some actions and behaviours as, at least, ‘inappropriate’) … without slipping into the slimy pool of ill-will?
However virtuous one’s starting point, it seems there is what some call ‘spiritual risk’ involved whenever we exercise discernment.
Like radioactivity pioneers Pierre and Marie Curie, who died of diseases caused by exposure to the very radiation they studied — can a ‘crusader for right’ become contaminated, or infected (even mutated?) by the object of their attention?
Choose your enemies carefully, for you will become like them.
Some call this proverb History’s most ironic lesson. Whatever you think of the ‘spiritual risk’ aspect, the truth of the proverb is, sadly, often borne out by the record of human history. Victims can, in turn, become victimisers. (Examples, anyone?)
A variation of the proverb is:
Choose your enemies carefully for they DEFINE you.
A song on rock band U2’s No Line On The Horizon album contains this:
Choose your enemies carefully, ’cause they will define you/
Make them interesting, because in some ways they will mind you/
They’re not there in the beginning, but when your story ends/
Gonna last longer with you than your friends.— from Cedars of Lebanon
As we’ve seen, anyone who expresses an opinion or takes a principled stand against others’ actions is liable to stir up anger and hatred. (That’s why we resist doing so. Fear of that reaction. The bully, the liar, and the oppressor count on this fear.)
So, Question: Is it possible to take a stand without succumbing to strong negative feelings oneself? What if those strong feelings are needed to ‘motivate’ us?
Mahatma Ghandi‘s ‘Hate the sin, love the sinner‘ overstates it … but goes towards what I’m asking.
Bitterness, we agree is unhealthy.
So, surely, is unforgiveness.
On the other hand, I’m sure those who turn a blind eye to wrongdoing, who never express any opinion about bad behaviour, espousing ‘live-and-let-live’ as their credo (or ‘retaining their neutrality in a time of moral crisis’ as JFK said) pay a price inside.
They can be seen — even by themselves, more’s the pity — as cowards, spineless or wilfully inattentive or inconclusive.
The invocation of ‘Judge not, lest you be judged’ is also used to cover much cowardice, in my opinion. (What do you think?)
Some things are worth resisting: prejudice, bigotry, injustice, persecution.
As Chowbok eloquently asked: “Are ideas worth dying for?” Are principles? That’s a tough one.
For my own part, whether I choose my enemies or they choose me, I know there are some things I will not do, some lines I will not cross … But why? What’s the drive? What makes me so? Truthfully, I don’t know. How successful can anyone be at identifying their own motivations (let alone someone else’s!)?
I just know that, for instance, I aim not to abuse trust. I try to be honest, to be the same person in all circumstances, to be authentic and not be two-faced. Do I fail? Yes, of course I fail.
While I disapprove of, even hold contempt for the actions of some who call me their ‘enemy’ or accuse me of ‘attacking’, ‘discrediting’ or ‘humiliating’ them … I don’t think I HATE them.
I remember John Burley’s dad Bob used to say:
‘When people show you who they are, believe them.’
I took from that: By all means give people a chance, but if they demonstrate to you by their actions that they can’t be trusted, DON’T keep giving them a second, third, fourth chance. Don’t be a sucker.
Question: If animosity or hate is the radiation, how do we protect ourselves? What’s the lead blanket? Any ideas?
Be persistent and insistent – pick your battles. Defeat your enemy with love. Submit, and submit again I say. How then can you possibly be beat when you have never raised your fist in anger?
There are so many wrongs in this world; how are we to endure them all? How can one man expect to heal so many wounds? Let us agree to put Christianity aside for a moment. Because, as all good Christians know, Jesus dying on the cross Is that one man. We are not Him; we are imperfect beings living in an angry and unforgiving world. If the goal of the Christian is to attain a Christ-like state then how can that be accomplished in such a sinful world? But then, could this dilemma actually be an opportunity?
Pick your battle; Lord knows there are many to choose from. It does not have to be spectacular or news-worthy. Perhaps it is nothing more than overcoming a prejudice, or a bias.
I think all of us face little battles every day – we just don’t notice them. For example; in the Wellington train station early this year an old lady approached me asking for money. I ignored her. Yet a younger man handed her a dollar. Should I intervene? After all, the younger man had probably never before met someone exhibiting extreme edema. And this is exactly what the lady what the lady had. Edema is a swelling of the tissues. It was pretty clear to me that this lady was suffering from untreated liver or kidney disease. The money, most probably, would be used to buy booze this would make her condition worse. The woman’s need became my battle. Would “begged” money help or hurt her? I decided that it would hurt her…
And yet the younger man chose otherwise. Did he exacerbate her condition? Did he hurt her by giving her the money?
Can we be corrupted? Yes, very easily, I think. But conscious analysis of the battle and the battles possible outcomes allow us to calculate the risk to ourselves. We are, above all things, very successful living organisms that can make the best decision for our own comfort and our own survival. We, in essence, always do what is best for ourselves regardless of the cost to others. We, I believe, are selfish creatures. I believe that is in our nature to be so and it should be nothing to be ashamed of, rather, we must recognize it in ourselves, and as Christ did, step outside ourselves for a moment and share and commune and love one another in an embrace alien to our real natures. This is how barriers are broken. This is how battles are won.
Perhaps the woman needed the money for the bus fare to the hospital? And the young man had just saved her life.
Semantics aside, if I were to be honest with myself, I knew that regardless of what I chose to do, the woman would soon find herself in a hospital – and it really didn’t matter what I did. The battle, at the end of the day, may have been nothing more than guilty conscious’s for both me and the younger man. We both saw the battle from different vantage points and acted accordingly. Maybe there is no such thing as right or wrong only our perception of the idea of right or wrong — though I don’t believe it.
Thanks for your thought-provoking comments, Chowbok! Good to have your contribution.
re “Defeat your enemy with love. Submit, and submit again I say….”
I’m not sure how that works. I tend towards the ‘have nothing to do with the unfruitful works of darkness… instead, expose them’ and ‘shake their dust off your sandals’ brigade. Not sure why, but I’m OK with some barriers… – P
The truth will set them free. But, perhaps you as well…
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