Every word of this is true.
My sister-in-law came to stay at the weekend. On Saturday night over a very pleasant dinner we had a lively discussion about social media. She’s just joined Facebook and has, after some consideration, been accepted as a ‘friend’ by one of her three adult children … so far — the other two, 18 & 20, are still thinking about it! (As they are, ahem, entitled to do, of course.)
This led to a discussion about some of the issues around Facebook ‘privacy’; WHO you could/should count as your ‘friends’ on Facebook (i.e. what your criteria should be); and why some people seem to want to be everyone’s friend — thus ‘cheapening’ (in my view) the whole ‘friend’ thing.
Some people even seek Facebook ‘friend’ status with their business competitors or critics for reasons that make me feel bemused but queasy. (In my view the stigma isn’t worth it.)
Then, at dessert our guest presented fortune cookies. This was mine (I’m not kidding):
Confucius on Facebook? (image: my fortune cookie)
Confucius said, “Make faithfulness and truth your masters: have no friends unlike yourself, be not ashamed to mend your faults.”
How cool is that? What GREAT timeless advice we can apply to social media.
(Of course there are layers to these things — I value eclecticism and contrary points of view, impassioned arguments etc — but let’s not go too ‘deep’ on this — it’s a fortune cookie, after all!)
As I meandered the length and breadth of Auckland yesterday on my bike – these Taupo training rides do take up your day – my mind did wander back to a Facebook Friend issue that had arisen awhile back when someone I would never consider a friend sent me a friend request.
It raises the whole idea of having a public watchlist or two. People of interest (that’s what is good about the “fan of” concept) but also you need a category for links to people that you keep an eye on but don’t necessarily endorse – like John Banks and other politicians. To join their “Friends” might give the wrong message entirely.
Then there are the people that you want to publicly blacklist but you’d be a brave soul to bare your public blacklist on any website – that said, it would make life interesting!
Yes, you’re right. There’s no gradient in Facebook – ‘Friend’ or ‘fan’ … how can you say:
“Just keeping an eye on this sleazebag and what he’s doing next…” ?
The other issue is, I always look to see who else the ‘be my Friend’ requester is friends with … and make some pretty harsh judgements based on that — that’s the stigma I’m talking about.
It’s not perfect though. I’m not ‘Friends’ with some good people because I feel they’re not choosy enough (from my point of view, of course!)
When the word ‘Friend’ has been comprehensively diluted, or those (like me) who still think it means something have de-perched… well, we’ll see. Thanks for your comment – P
[…] We’ve discussed this before. Remember the fortune-cookie? […]